TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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