I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
