considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
