This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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