You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
