there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
