Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
