Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
