69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I looked at my own cervix.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
