Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
