I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
