I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
