I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
