What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
