You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
