Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
