I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
then he tried to convert me to islam
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's rum buckets o'clock
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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