I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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