O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
