38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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