I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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