Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
