If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
