Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
