I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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