wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
