Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just google imaged poop.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
