I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
