Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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