called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
