he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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