i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
