Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
