Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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