I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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