Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Boobs are out for the taking
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
