Sry I called you an 8
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
