If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
