i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
