why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
