I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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