Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
