i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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