I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
