yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
