And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't deserve a penis
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
