Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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