i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
