Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
