I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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