Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
